| Vol. 1, Issue 4 | 
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By Doug Trattner
Imagine an urban district where residents routinely forsake their cars when heading out for a night of shopping, eating and merrymaking. A town where independently owned groceries, taverns and cafes—all built into majestic, centuries-old brick structures— flourish in an environment completely devoid of big box retailers. No, this is not some European hamlet we’re talking about—it’s our very own Ohio City. Nearby Tremont may corner the market on cutting-edge dining venues, but when it comes to actual markets, Ohio City stands head and shoulders above the competition. And Ohio City has its share of distinctive eateries, many of which parade the tastes and treats of like-minded European villages for a fraction of the price. Of course, we all need a local tavern at which to cap off the night; and if it’s staggering distance from home, all the better. Being economical in both theory and practice, we endeavored to fill the hours between 5 and 11 p.m. with shopping, dining, and a little partying tossed in for good measure. And we hoped do so for under $20 each, going Dutch, naturally.
The Ohio City odyssey began at Hansa Import Haus, a faux Swiss chalet building (on Lorain Avenue between W. 26th and W. 28th streets) that we've passed countless times. Truth be told, we had not stepped foot inside because, frankly, we didn’t have the faintest notion of what the hell went on there. Crossing the kitsch threshold, we’re enveloped by a cornucopia of German, Austrian and Swiss products. A cooler upfront is crammed with German butters, cheeses and sausages. Rows of grocery store shelving sag beneath the weight of a bewildering inventory of Bavarian imports. In cans, jars, boxes and bags, hard-to-find products such as heather honey and the delectable Viennese dessert, kaiserschmarrn, wait for homesick immigrants. Owner Boris Music tells us that Hansa Haus has been serving Cleveland’s German (and not-so-German) community for more than 40 years. Hansa also carries the area’s largest inventory of German and Austrian beer and wine, including the incredibly rare Rauchbier Special ($3.89/half liter), a smoke beer from Bamberg.
After browsing at Hansa Haus, we’ve developed an appetite, not to mention a vigorous thirst. A mere block away sits Market Avenue Wine Bar, Cleveland’s first and best bar devoted to wines by the glass. Located on a picturesque cobblestone alley, Market Avenue Wine Bar has the look and feel of an authentic Old World café.
Dark woods, exposed brick and candlelight welcome the couple as they take seats at the spacious bar. Manager Joy Valentine presents a concise menu of wine-friendly tapas (literally, small plates), along with a lengthier menu boasting approximately 70 wines by the glass. We settle on a light meal—a cheese board laden with warm and crusty French bread, Italian prosciutto, Irish cheddar, smoked Gouda and an assortment of seasonal fruits ($8.75). Valentine recommends two affordable wines, which prove to be well-suited to chasing bites of bread and cheese: The Solitude Cotes du Rhone ($5.50) and Marquis Phillips Verdejo ($5.50).
From the far end of the bar, a benevolent customer offers guests sample pours from his open bottle of vintage French Champagne. To the frugal duo, this comes as a welcome indulgence. It is also a fitting one, considering that our next stop is the tiny creperie, Le Oui Oui Café. After paying the tab and bundling up for the five-block scramble west, the twosome set out to scare up some dessert. Following the Euro theme, Le Oui Oui (located on the corner of Fulton Road and Bridge Avenue) faces an old-world town square, complete with towering stone church, Victorian homes, storefronts and a stunningly ornate Carnegie West library. Ohio City couple Denajua and Didier recently sold the café to Ohio City resident Andrew Waterson and moved back to Paris. Still, the creperie offers Clevelanders a slice of the Parisian café culture, right down to the imported cheeses, preserves, teas and coffees. Just six tables occupy the quaint, dimly lit space, and, on this night, they are occupied by blissful guests savoring the house fondues. Though the fondue smells intoxicating, the parsimonious pair opts to split a Nutella and banana-stuffed dessert crepe ($4.75). Pots of still-brewing French press espresso ($2.50 each) are delivered alongside the warm, folded crepe. Larger than anticipated, the crepe more than satisfies what remains of our hunger. While eavesdropping on the surrounding tables’ conversations, we finish our brew in silence.
Looking for a little trouble to end the night, we decide to hit Ohio City’s newest—and by all accounts—hottest bar, The Garage. Fueled by crepe and coffee, we hardly notice the 10-minute walk down Bridge Avenue to W. 25th Street. After all, we’re itching to cut loose a little after the romantic interlude—and from what we’ve heard, The Garage is just the ticket. Using the biker/cruiser idolization of the Seventies as his inspiration, owner Jeff Allison created a car enthusiast’s dream. Durable black tool chests stand in as the back bar. Gleaming white racing stripes zip clear down the polished red bar top. And retro fuel pumps have been customized to dispense pints of Guinness rather than gallons of fuel. The Garage is also a paean to the classic rock of the Seventies and Eighties. When the deejay isn’t spinning vinyl up in the crow’s nest, fans of Guns & Roses, Foreigner and AC-DC can plug in the jukebox. Before sidling up to the bar, we slide a bill into the juke and settle on three songs from Billy Squire.
Seated now, the couple takes the bartender up on her suggestion and orders two of the house specialty—Oil and Gas ($4 each). So named because the layered cocktail resembles an oil slick resting on a puddle of gas, Oil and Gas is actually black vodka and Red Fuel—and, like their night in Ohio City, it kicks ass! Totaling up their respective tabs, each is elated to learn that the outlay for the entire night comes to just $19.25 per person, including the buck for the jukebox. Let’s just pray the cheap bastards remembered
to tip along the way. ––>
Hansa Import Haus |
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